I want to make a zoo with you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i've created a new STD.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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