can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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