yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
