And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
