The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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