You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize