im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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