shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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