I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
