Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
