trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
