laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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