Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
