porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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