so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
