Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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