Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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