Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
