yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
