Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
