escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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