I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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