My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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