I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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