So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
