just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
