remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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