Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are the jesus of drinking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
