Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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