You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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