You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize