On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
