I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
