nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
