Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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