Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
