My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
