Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize