ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got inside last night via doggy door
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize