Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
