Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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