i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
