if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
