the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
