I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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