i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
