He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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