i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
