it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
