She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it was like eating out sand paper
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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