I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We have started to decorate penises.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
