Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
