the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
