I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize