So drunk its hurt
Plan B is the new Plan A
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
