Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
