A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
