Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
