Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
