I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
