even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We're too hungover to prance.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
