dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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