i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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